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“There are some people here that have what we call ‘the upgrade problem.’ Why would I settle down with someone?

“None of that s - - t really matters,” says Ansari.

They also found that Japanese singles think using a photo of themselves on a dating app is too narcissistic — so instead, they post photos of cats or rice cookers.

Ansari, who never online dated — because of his fame, he explains — maintains that technology has been a boon to the single population.

After Tanaka signed with the Yankees, the Japanese press reported that Satoda would be performing on Broadway, but that turned out to be just a rumor.